My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
