what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
