TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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