my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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