OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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