i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!