the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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