Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Say something about gay babies.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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