Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
