What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
