Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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