I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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