your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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