Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
