I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
