I will die if light touches me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
