Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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