I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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