are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
