HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
