Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
is wine microwaveable?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
