my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just threw up on my dentist
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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