I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
