I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize