Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
