Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize