Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
