yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
