Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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