Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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