I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
