the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
