just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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