We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
