Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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