Someone shit on the floor
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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