Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's always time for handjobs
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize