Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So squirting runs in the family.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
