in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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