mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize