Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
