Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
