Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
