M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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