I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
