she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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