kristin has been a bad kristin
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
