you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
