When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
