apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
