the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
