My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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