I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're a waste of cheezeits
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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