I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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