Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
