I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
