you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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