Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
