You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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