I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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