the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
