Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
