i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
