you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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