But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
