i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
