I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
